After reading My Mother Gives Me a Writing Lesson by Martin Lee, I was able to understand and improve last week’s blog post Composing a Past Scene in this blog post. From the reading, I made sure to incorporate and pay more attention to sensory details and dialogue in order to enhance my scene.
As per usual, I grabbed the mail out of the gold mailbox hanging outside on the brick wall next to my front door. It was a breezy November afternoon and I had just returned home from school. I flipped through the pile of mail until a purple and gold pamphlet caught my attention. The smiling students on the pamphlet made me excited because I already knew I wanted to apply to this school early in my senior year of high school, to West Chester University. All three of my brothers attended, along with my mother and older sister. The campus was basically engraved in me, how could I not go there? With the pamphlet in my hand, I raced up the stairs to my mom’s room to discuss the possibility to my future. “Mom, look what came in the mail”, I exclaimed after opening her door. “I see, could you get your sister? I need to talk to the both of you”. My mom seemed uneasy and upset. “Okay”, I said a little confused. I ran down the steps to receive my twin sister, sitting on the top bunk of our bunk bed in our room. “Ana, mom needs us”. “Why?” She asked with an attitude. “I don’t know, let’s find out”. We walked back up the stairs to meet our mom for our little meeting. My mom was sitting on her bed, laying out various blue sheets of paper. Ana and I looked at each other, puzzled on what was happening. “Girls, sit down”, my mom finally said. She pushed back her curly hair and paused for a moment, her voice was a little shaky. “I want you to look at this graph”, she said as she held up a blue sheet with two graphs. “As you can see, there is a difference in the cost of tuition of community college compared to a four-year university.” Immediately, a wave of disappointment filled my mind. I knew where this conversation was going. Holding back tears, I was crushed. My mom continued, “Unfortunately, I am unable to send the both of you to a four-year school, I’m only able to afford to send you to community college”. I was upset and angry. Just several months ago in the summer, she had taken us to visit West Chester, her beloved school. Ana knew it was the perfect school for her because of the Early Education program. I was skeptical of the school at first only because everyone in my family went there. But after visiting the art department, I fell in love with the school. Ana and I just nodded in agreement because we knew how hard this was for her. We didn’t fight back like we usually did. Although my mom made this conclusion to send us to community college, it was made due to the financial decisions my dad had caused for my family several years ago. My parents had divorced when I was younger because of the financial decisions my dad had created for my mom. He destroyed her credit, and it caused her to become self-supportive. My family and I lived in a beautiful home, with a pool and a giant backyard. Friends and family regularly visited and we hosted many gatherings and parties. In 2012, we discovered that we had to move, and eventually we found a smaller house nearby. My dad’s choices made me depressed. I saw a therapist which made me feel a little better, but it didn’t bring back my old life. Eventually I recovered as it matured me, but I am still faced with the remnants of the financial choices my dad had produced. My dreams of attending a four-year university was ruined. I felt embarrassed and was always nervous whenever a classmate at school would ask, “What school are you going to next year?” I would pause, biting my lips and unable to answer. Everyone passing in the hallway at school was wearing a school t-shirt or sweatshirt. I felt so out of place, wearing my simple white sweater. At Strath Haven, my high school, everyone was so intellectually competitive. After years of hard work, I knew I could’ve been accepted to West Chester. “Is it a coincidence that everyone is wearing a school shirt today?” I questioned a classmate sitting next to me. “No, today is college decision day” she exclaimed, wearing an oversized red Temple hoodie. Sitting at my desk, I sank into my blue metal chair. I felt like I was a failure. I couldn’t show off the achievement of being accepted to a school I wanted to go to. I could’ve worn my favorite grey West Chester sweatshirt that was sitting in a box, in the bottom of my closet. I still love my dad but I question, “Why would he do this to us?” All of my life, I lived with my mom and we visited him several times on weekends. For some reason, I can’t help but feel resentment towards my mom. I can’t take my anger out on my dad because he isn’t around as often. I am at a loss of experiences and independence I desperately crave.
9 Comments
DANIELLE MCINTYRE
10/8/2018 04:23:02 pm
think of all the money saved youll be happy about that apart later. i think it was very well written over all
Reply
Jack R Ludin
10/8/2018 05:54:05 pm
This is a great post, Community College is underrated. Once you get to the school that you want to be at, none of this will matter anymore.
Reply
Colin
10/8/2018 08:14:20 pm
I liked the revised post, it gives the reader a better understanding on the situation.
Reply
Dylan Bonifazio
10/8/2018 08:25:11 pm
I like the revised version better because I can feel the emotion better.
Reply
Taylor Dannaker
10/8/2018 08:53:29 pm
I liked that you added some backstory. I could understand the situation more in depth.
Reply
Joanna
10/9/2018 12:11:23 pm
I felt exactly this way in the beginning of my senior year, not being able to wear a shirt with a big university name on it at school was a bit embarrassing at the time, but DCCC is definitely underrated! Thanks for sharing.
Reply
Nicole Strasinski
10/15/2018 05:46:01 pm
This was definitely not my first choice either. Im really sorry you had to settle here but hopefully things will work out in the end.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Chrissie FackenthallI will use this blog to write and post weekly assignments for my English Composition I course at Delaware County Community College Archives
December 2018
Categories
All
|